Date of the Week: Heights and Sites!

This week's date is going to involve some serious advanced planning, but will give you some of the best views of the city. So, start booking!

First up, the Washington Monument. You can obtain tickets for the tour if you get here early in the morning, but you're better off just ordering them online in advance. The tour is free, but the online tickets to have a small service fee. Also, they will come to you in a rather plain-looking envelope, so make sure you don't throw them out by mistake. I would take a tour later in the afternoon, maybe like around 4, that way you can make early dinner reservations at 5:30.

Make sure you arrive a little before your tour time and wait out front for the park ranger running the tour line. Once you're sent inside, you'll wait a few minutes in the marble lobby for the elevator to come back down. The ride up takes 70 seconds, which feels like forever on an elevator, especially in DC where the buildings are all short, but the tour guide will fill the time with all sorts of interesting trivia. Although, if you get the same one I did, you will cringe every time she says the name of the monument (I really hate when people pronounce the name of our first President as if it had an "R" in it).

As the tallest building in Washington, DC, the monument has amazing views. Seriously. There are windows on all four sides of the monument, and each has a handy little picture above with the important buildings labeled, so you can sound like you know what you're talking about in front of your date. Also, you will realize how flat the city actually is. Bring your camera, these are the best views you will ever see (unless you're really rich and can afford a helicopter tour). Anyway, after you check out the great views, you can take the stairs down to the museum-y part of the tour and read all about the history of the Washington Monument before getting in line to ride the elevator back down.

The ride down is the best part of the tour because, you get to see all the innards of the structure. And, trust me, this is way cooler than it sounds.

After the tour, head north on 15th Street for the second-best views of the city. I'm talking about Point of View at the newly-opened W Hotel. You will need to make dinner reservations to get in here, but you can do that on Open Table. Unfortunately, this is not the bar at the Hotel Washington you remember (and long for). No more are the days of freely walking through the lobby to the elevator to sit on the balcony, $12 martini in hand, gazing out at the monuments. OK, well, they still have expensive drinks and great views, but now they have a very closely guarded elevator. While I am not a fan of the snooty revamp of my favorite bar, I have to admit, the views are great.

So, make yourself a reservation and get up there to enjoy the views. Linger around a little after dinner and have another drink. If after dinner, you decide the reincarnation of the Hotel Washington bar is too pretentious for your liking, you can always pop next door to Ebbitt's. In fact, you should do this anyway. Even if you do have drinks at Point of View first.

Date of the Week: Garden Party!

This week's date is full of fancy old-timey things, and includes plenty of time outside. Since it's still warm outside, this is a good weekend to take advantage of the great weather. Start the day off by meeting for lunch at Blue Ridge Restaurant in Glover Park. In addition to great food, Blue Ridge also offers old-timey cocktails and punch bowls. Of course, you and your date probably shouldn't drink an entire punch bowl by yourselves, so save that for when you bring your friends.

After lunch, take a walk down Wisconsin Ave to the beautiful gardens at Dumbarton Oaks (here's how). The garden entrance is located at 31st and R. The gardens don't open until 2pm, so you'll have plenty of time to get there after lunch. Admission is $8 a person, pr $5 if you're a student. There are dozens of different gardens, and they're all amazing. You can easily spend hours here. There are plenty of shaded areas, especially in the informal gardens, making the hot and muggy DC summer less miserable. Plus, it's so big, you won't feel crowded. Another bonus: you will see wildlife in the city other than rats (yucky!).

Once you're finished seeing all the gardens, it's time for a drink. And after spending all afternoon on manicured grounds of a gorgeous mansion, the usual Bud Light just isn't going to cut it.

The entrance to Dumbarton Oaks is just a few blocks away from Cafe Bonaparte. This French restaurant is known throughout DC for it's amazing champagne cocktails. And after a long day of walking, you deserve one. Or more. I won't judge you if you drink more.

Date of the Week: Putt-Putt Picnic!

This week, take advantage of the DC summer by going to play putt-putt and enjoy a picnic. DC is limited in its putt-putt options. I mean, sure, there's the H Street Country Club, but playing in a dark bar really doesn't take advantage of the summer, now does it? You should still check this place out sometime though. Just not this weekend, ok? You're going on an outdoor date. You're going to Hains Point. Sure, it's not the fanciest course around, but it has its charm.

Start your day off by either packing yourself and your date a picnic, or going to the closest Chipotle and getting a couple of burritos to go. Remember to pack bottled drinks if you opted for Chipotle. You can't really put a fountain soda in your backpack. Also pack a picnic blanket, or a couple of towels. Now that you're all packed-up, you can either get in your car, or get ready for a good, long walk. I prefer walking. For you drivers out there, you're in luck -- there are a TON of free parking spaces at the East Potomac Golf Course. Also, they have real golf, if you're ever looking for somewhere to play.

Take the metro to the Smithsonian station, the head to Hains Point. Here's how. The mini golf course usually isn't very crowded -- even on weekends. Games are $6 per person. The course is well-shaded, making it a relaxing place for a fun afternoon. The course is a little old, meaning there are strange bumps that might impact your game. If you're serious about your game, that is. When I go, I usually end up goofing off by trying to knock my opponent's ball out of the way.

After putt-putt, head down to the water to enjoy the lunch you packed. I prefer the side that looks over the Potomac to Virginia (as opposed to the side that looks on to DC). It tends to be quieter. Plus, you can see planes take-off from Reagan National, and the DC Duck tour boat goes by every so often. And that's pretty awesome.

If you walked, you can stop and check out the monuments on your back home. If you drove, then you can stop and enjoy the traffic around the monuments on your way home.

Date of the Week: Hiking and Chicken!

I've been getting antsy from being in the city too long, so this week, let's head 'em up, move 'em out! If you're one of the lucky Washingtonians who actually has a car, you're in luck. There are a lot of great destinations for a day trip from which you can pick. This week, I am going to suggest hiking and chicken.

Get up nice and early, pack some trail mix and plenty of water and drive out to Skyline Drive in Virginia. There is a $15 fee per car to get in, but if you think you might come back, I would suggest springing for the annual pass ($30). If you really like parks, there is an $80 annual pass that will get you in to all National Parks. There are several great trails (not to mention, amazing views) along the way. I would suggest Little Devil Stairs as a good hiking trail. It's a little intense. And a little wet. But, you can handle it. SCT's dachshund can handle it. No, really, he loves to hike! One thing to be wary of are the ticks. They will get you. And if you have thick hair like I do, they will love your head. Make sure you wear a hat and cover yourself with bugspray. Also, you will get a little dirty, so if you drive a nice car, or one you want to keep clean, bring a towel for the car ride, and a plastic bag to put your dirty shoes. Also, if your phone is like mine, you will get spotty coverage in this area. I just leave mine turned off when I go out here.

After returning from your hike, continue driving down Skyline Drive. Take it all the way to Charlottesville and reward yourself with a Caniac meal from my favorite fastfood restaurant, Raising Cane's. Sadly, this is the closest Canes to DC. I know you non-Louisiana people are probably thinking "why the hell would I go all the way to Charlottesville for chicken fingers?" Well, just trust me on this one. Once you go, you'll get it. And you will be planning many a trip back to get your fix.

Date of the Week: The Shame

My boyfriend loves Harry Potter. I know I'm going to offend some people by saying this, but I think it's really lame for a man in his 30's to get into children's books and movies. However, being the awesome girlfriend that I am, I will go with him to the theatre to see this crappy movie. I will need a lot of booze to tolerate this.

So, I will start the night out with dinner at the CommonWealth Gastropub in Columbia Heights. It fits the whole British theme. Also, they have beer. Lots of beer. And the hearty food necessary to eat in order to consume lots of beer. I would set aside more time that usual to eat to account for all the boozing you'll want to do.

Anyway, the restaurant is next to the Columbia Heights metro, so it's just a short ride on the green or yellow line to the Regal Gallery Place movie theatre. Chinatown tends to get insanely crowded, so I would suggest purchasing tickets ahead of time. Also, even with your tickets purchased early, you'll still want to get to the theatre early enough to get decent seats. Seriously. I went to see "The Hangover" a few weeks ago and ended up getting stuck in the back row that has about 1/3 the leg space. My knees were pressed against the seat in front of me the whole time. And the little brat in that seat felt the need to keep rocking her seat back, jamming my knees. The little brat next to her (in front of my boyfriend) had the audacity to turn around and yell at him to not kick her seat, despite the fact the only thing moving was her seat as she rocked it. I hope she fell in a hole. She was a brat. But, I digress.

After sitting through the movie, you'll want to get up and stretch your legs, so take a walk down to Elephant & Castle (or metro if you're feeling lazy) to resume boozing while keeping with the British theme.

Date of the Week: Moon Landing!

For the month of July, the National Air and Space Museum will be celebrating the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11. NASM is one of my favorite museums in Washington, and this is the perfect chance to go check it out. The museum is open until 7:30 most days in the summer, with a few exceptions. So, why not plan to go a little later in the afternoon. Maybe around 4 or 5. Catch a show in the planetarium, then check out all the Apollo 11 artifacts, including the command module, Columbia, and some lunar rocks.

After the museum, head up 7th street to Rocket Bar in Chinatown. This is the point where I should remind you to wear shoes you can walk a few blocks in. I am not going to say "comfortable walking shoes" because, that brings to mind visions of ugly tourist sandals. Cute shoes can be comfortable. Please find a pair that are. And wear those.

Anyway, back to Rocket Bar. Grab a few drinks and challenge your date to a game of skee ball (my favorite!) or shuffle board. If you're into more serious bar games, they also have pool tables and dart boards. But, really, where's the excitement in playing generic bar games? Save it for your buddies.

After a few drinks, you can keep with the space theme and take a cab up to Georgetown for dinner at Paper Moon. If you're going on a Friday or Saturday, you might want to make reservations beforehand. There is a lot of foot traffic in Georgetown on the weekends and restaurants tend to fill up pretty fast.

Date of the Week: Kayaking!

My first job was working at a boat rental center, so I have a thing for small watercraft. If paddle boats in the tidal basin are a little too dorky for your liking, you can always try kayaking in the Potomac. For this, I would recommend wearing something casual. Shorts and a t-shirt. You'll get a little wet from paddling, and we all know how clean the Potomac is, so don't wear white.

For $10 an hour, you and your date can get a double kayak from the Thompson Boat Center. If they're out of boats, you can try Jack's, which is up the river a little more. They're a little bit more expensive though.

Some days, there is more of a current than others, but regardless, I would suggest rowing upstream first. Once you get past the key bridge, there is a lot to see. It is surprisingly calm for being just a few hundred yards away from the hustle and bustle of Georgetown. The Three Sisters Rock formation marks the farthest point navigable by larger boats, so after you get past there, you can relax and just drift for a bit. I've seen a lot of people kayak up here then bird-watch. If that's your thing, go for it. Otherwise, just sit back and enjoy the scenery.

Some people BYOB on their kayaks and crack one open at this point. I am going to be a nerd here and say don't do that. You should not operate any watercraft, motorized or not, under the influence. But, definitely bring some water, it gets a little hot on the water sometimes.

The good thing about rowing against the current to start off with is that you can coast back downriver to the boat center. Of course, be mindful of the other boats in the water, you may want to stay closer to the shore so you're out of the way of motorboat operators who may have had a few too many.

After returning your kayak, continue your day of river fun by grabbing an outside table overlooking the Potomac at Nick's for lunch and a few drinks. The Georgetown Waterfront is a great place for people-watching and is a very chill environment, especially during the day. It will be a nice break after all that rowing.

Date of the Week: The Zoo!

When I was in college, my animal behavior courses meant spending long hours doing research at the zoo. As a result, I am a total nerd about zoos and the best way to win me over is to take me on a date to one. Of course, you don't have to be a nerd to enjoy the zoo -- and it's a great place to take a date for a casual, cheap and fun day.

The National Zoo is on a steep hill, so you will certainly get a work-out looking at all the animals. So, I'd recommend starting off your day with a hearty breakfast from Open City, which is next to the Woodley Park Metro Station. Unless you get there super-early, you'll probably have to wait a little bit for a table. This will give you a chance to talk with your date and find out all about his background. I love the breakfast at Open City. My favorite menu item is the Chai Tea Waffle, and my boyfriend loves the omelets. The environment here is ultra-casual -- you can wear just about anything. The restaurant gets pretty crowded, but the tables are spaced so you won't feel like you have people sitting on top of you.

After breakfast, it's just a short walk up the hill to the National Zoo. The thing I love most about the National Zoo is that, like other Smithsonian Museums in Washington, it is free. Make sure you check out the outdoor exhibits at the Bird House. These tend to be less crowded than a lot of the other exhibits. And the beautiful scenery makes for a great place to steal a kiss. The good thing about a zoo date is that there is plenty of time to talk to your date, and the animals make great conversation starters. Alternatively, if you're not in the mood to chat, the animals are a good distraction, so silence will no e awkward. Basically, whatever your conversation style, you will be comfortable at the zoo.

All the exhibits at the zoo are worth checking out. You may have to wade through crowds for more popular ones (the pandas). You'll definitely want to take a break from the heat by slipping into some of the indoor exhibits, like the Small Mammal House and the Reptile Discovery Center. After some walking, grab an ice cream from the concession stand, or a vending machine and sit in the shade by the sea lions.

A day at the zoo is a unique and fun date that is a good change of pace from the usual dinner and drinks outing. It's cheap enough for an intern without feeling like a budget date.

New Features

In the interest of putting a more positive spin on dating, we've decided to add two new features to LoserEx.

First, there will be Date of the Week which I will try to post each Wednesday (that way you guys have time to find your date for the weekend). In this feature, I will make a suggestion for an inexpensive, fun date in Washington, DC. I'm going to try to avoid things like dinner and drinks, since I feel like we all go on way to many of those dates.

The next feature will be Check Him Out. This will be a less regular feature -- maybe once every three weeks or so. Check Him Out will review local places (mainly bars) in terms of meeting men. I will evaluate what type of man frequents various places and what type of woman should go to these places to meet men. On a related note, if you have the Lisa Frank "Check Him Out" picture (for which this feature was named), let me know. This picture is the best thing ever and would make a nice addition to this feature.

And, yes, there are still many more stories to come about the losers I've dated.