Monday, January 29, 2007

He don't see ugly through bloodshot eyes

A certain ex liked to tell me that he only dated the fittest, most attractive women. For example, after we had been dating for awhile, I teasingly asked him if a year ago he would have ever thought he'd be driving a hot sports car with an attractive blonde next to him and he soberly replied: "of course, I knew I was going to buy a [hot sports car] and I only date attractive blondes." I knew one of his exes and she was pretty plain-looking and a friend of mine knew a different ex and she apparently wasn't a looker either. But there was a certain ex that he kept on a pedestal. I had never met this girl and she didn't live anywhere near us so I couldn't stalk her or anything so I trusted that she was truly far prettier than I could ever be.

Until I found an old picture of them while snooping through his photos*. She looked like her face had been bashed in with a shovel. As in it was so bad, I spent about fifteen minutes consulting with my sister about how I could casually ask if she had been in a horrible accident and her insurance wouldn't pay for a good reconstructive surgeon. (We concluded there was no graceful way to ask that.)

I am not the prettiest girl in the world. Riding the metro on any given morning, you are bound to see at least five girls who are prettier--DC is full of them. My college was full of them too (I am pretty sure my college has one of the most attractive student bodies in the country). I do not expect to be the prettiest girl my boyfriend has ever dated--in fact, I don't really want to be the prettiest, I just need him to think I am. But for some reason, I consistently date men with heinously deformed ex-girlfriends.

I would say that maybe these men are really great guys who truly go for great personalities except I have a tendency to date superficial jackasses and I am a complete bitch and so I know they are not dating me for my stellar personality. But the really weird thing is, for the most part I don't date duds. Okay--I have kissed my fair share of frogs, but the past few have been attractive, athletic, intelligent and had good jobs. These men are good catches, but why haven't they found a pretty girl in a city which we've established is full of beautiful women?

And why are they dating me?


*It wasn't really snooping, they were in a box on his nightstand, that makes it fair game.