You Realize Those Don't Wash Off...

First, let me just say that I am not anti-tattoo. I do not have any myself. This is partly due to the fact that I am a huge wuss about any sort of pain, but more due to the fact that I can’t think of anything significant enough to me that I would want it on my body for the rest of my life. Also, thinking about what it would look like when I am 60 is kind of gross. I don’t care if people get tattoos; it’s their right to do as they please with their own bodies.

But, there are a few instances in which they slightly irk me, and those are:

a) When one gets several very large, very visible tattoos (to the point where they cannot be covered-up), then complains that they were discriminated against at a job interview due to the fact they have tattoos.
b) When one gets a tattoo that is a word in a language that he or she does not speak (I don’t think it means what you think it means…).
c) When someone gets a tattoo which has no real significance to them (i.e. a tramp stamp).

With that said, here are two tattoo stories I have (that's right, it's a holiday double-post!):

1) I went on date a a few months ago with a young man who, while not a total loser, was not exactly my penguin. Our conversation somehow turned to the topic of tattoos and he asked if I had any. I told him that I did not and explained why. He agreed with my opinion of getting a tramp stamp, or the male equivalent (which is a tribal armband or Chinese character). He mentioned that he was planning on getting two tattoos. I asked him what he wanted to get and the answer blew my mind.

He wanted to get a picture of each of his parents – one on each arm.

I gave him a look of puzzlement and disgust. He was insistent that this was a good idea. He explained that he was really close with his parents and that he would (obviously) get pictures of them when they were younger. Fine.

I also have a good relationship with my parents, but I do not feel the need to have pictures of them on my body. Furthermore, I don’t know his mother, but something tells me that she probably does not want to be commemorated via his arm tattoo. Just a thought. Also, did it ever occur to him that girls might find it creepy to hook up with a guy and have to look at pictures of his parents the whole time? Creepy.

2) Fred did not have any tattoos, but told me he knew exactly what he would get if he ever got one. It seemed that he had really put a lot of thought into what tattoo he would get, so I asked him what his idea was.

He wanted to get a tattoo of Fred Flintstone with a lawnmower. He would get it close to his nether regions and shave a strip of hair next to it add to the overall effect. This way, he rationalized, if he ever got tired of looking at it, he could just stop shaving and it would be covered-up. Classy.