Jailbird

My ex (the one who couldn't order wine), who I think I will call Clueless Ex from now on, was never exactly the most thoughtful person. When we went on vacation, he didn't book our room until about three days ahead of time, by which point there were no decent places to stay and we ended up in a crappy motel with uncomfortable beds. And then there was the time that he bought me a really nice earrings (really, they were gorgeous) for my birthday, but forgot that my ears weren't pierced. (He took me to get my ears pierced the next day, claiming that it was the second half of my present.) But this time, he really screwed himself over.

A few weeks ago, I got a call from a friend who was stuck in Bumfuck, Tennessee with Clueless Ex--because Clueless Ex was in jail! Apparently, while he was living in California (for about a year), he managed to get seven speeding tickets, none of which he paid. So, they suspended his license. I don't know if Clueless Ex didn't know this, or just didn't care, but whatever the reason, he was driving around with a suspended license. Well, he and some friends had gone up to Tennessee for a friend's bachelor party. Apparently, Ex acted like a dick the whole time they were there, but that's nothing out of the ordinary. On the way back home, he got pulled over and was arrested for driving with a suspended license. The thought of him in handcuffs makes me giggle like a little girl. The only thing that could have made it better was if they had kept him overnight.

While the whole idea of Clueless Ex being in jail fills me with glee, I think the more interesting part is the fact that he managed to forget to pay seven speeding tickets. I mean, who does that? How is it possible to forget to pay that many tickets? Or maybe he didn't pay them on purpose...did he think there wouldn't be any consequences? And also who gets seven speeding tickets in a year? I think that's a record. You would think that after about three tickets you would get the message that you need to slow your ass down. Tickets aren't cheap and neither is the inevitable increase in insurance (alliteration?) prices.

God, Clueless Ex is a dumbass.