Mr. Gigantic One-Eyed Wonder Weasel

...my ex-fiance was not.

But he did have an eye for younger women, which was odd, considering I am 18 months older than he is (a fact he lied about when we first met but this was minor compared to the other lies he told so I'm not going to make a big deal about it). By younger though, I don't mean a year or two or even five (which at the time would have still been jail bait). Nope, we're talking a good eight to ten years younger than he was. Teenagers, and not the "barely legal" kind.

He also never actually acted on his looking(to the best of my knowledge)--he is not a pedophile--he just liked to allude the the fact he was in an effort to score "cool points" around "the dudes".

Roger dude, you have your dirty little secret. Please do not share it with my sister's boyfriend. You know it is going to get back to my sister and then her mother and the next thing you know, my entire family knows you're slightly sketchy.

Oh, but he did.

We had driven to southern Virginia to visit my grandparents. My sister and her boyfriend met us there and we went to a popular nearby amusement park. As we were walking from one ride to the next, my ex-fiance nudged my sister's boyfriend, pointed to a girl and said "check her out". He did this several times in fact. My sister's boyfriend, who is far from classy but evidently classier than my ex, looked at girl and was like "dude, she's 14".

My ex-fiance's response?

"If there's grass in the field, play ball."

Yeah, and if you play ball with a girl who is younger than jailbait, don't be shocked when you get shot by her daddy or thrown in jail by the cops.