Waiting on the World to Change

The Officer/Gentleman refuses to shop at Target. We visited the local Target when he first returned from Iraq to get towels and bathroom decor and being a Saturday afternoon at Target it was very crowded so we left the cart in the main aisle while we went to look at towels. Officer/Gentleman is slightly prissy about some things, including but not limited to his linens, the stripes on his shirts, his silverwear, the blanket on his bed, hotels he stays in, restaurants he eats in, bars he drinks in...pretty much everything, actually. So while he was choosing between aquamarine and turqouise towels, a Target Team Member saw his cart, assumed it was abandoned and reshelved the items in it.

When Officer/Gentleman returned (with no towels) to find his cart missing, he went ballistic and marched right up to the front of the store and demanded the store manager explain why his selections had been reshelved. The manager politely explained that Target Team Members were told to reshelf stock in abandoned carts to avoid having them blocking aisles. This pissed off Officer/Gentlemen so he told the manager we would never shop in Target again (speak for yourself, sweetheart, I still visit Target at least weekly--it's the Minnesnowta in me) and that we were only shopping at Wal-Mart from now on.

I enjoy the trip to Wal-Mart as much as the next Republican but everyone knows it isn't even in the same league as Target. I mean, I will wear clothes from Target. I own a pair of sweatpants from the Wal-Mart in Bedford because there wasn't a Target for 20 miles and it was the middle of the night and I was freezing. The Target store manager looked at us with the same contempt as if we had asked if salad was included in a prix fixe menu.

Months passed and Officer/Gentleman only shopped at Wal-Mart until one day when he was looking for some plastic storage drawers and they were on sale at Target. Officer/Gentleman's frugality outweighs his principle so we jumped in the Mustang and headed to Target (I think we were also just coming out of a major fight at this point and he was trying to make a concession by taking me to one of my favorite stores). He got his drawers and was happy and we could go to Target again.

Then one day, we went to Target to get a vacuum cleaner (he fired his housekeeping service out of a principle that I didn't exactly understand but at least he was making an effort to keep his apartment non-gross). As we were paying for the vacuum cleaner, he asked the Target Team Member checking us out if he could have a roll of quarters. She told him he'd have to go to customer service so we got in the customer service line. After waiting in line for ten minutes, we get to the counter and the Team Member informs us that it is corporate policy not to give out rolls of quarters.

Knowing him very well, I could see he was pissed off by this policy but he did not go apeshit like I would have expected, instead he put the vacuum cleaner on the counter and said "then I'd like to return this and may I have $10 of my refund in quarters." The Team Member told him credit card purchases can only be refunded to credit cards and this sent him over the edge (I was waiting). We stormed out of Target (without the vacuum cleaner) while he was loudly questioning how a store with such shitty customer service policies can stay in business.

Um...because they are not a bank???

CMS and RGB lament waitresses in fine dining establishments looking at them with contempt, but ladies, you have not experienced humiliation until that look of contempt has come from trailer trash wearing red Target shirt.

To my knowledge, he has still not been back to Target. He probably doesn't own a vacuum cleaner either. That's sad.