I hate tourists. I hated tourists in college and I hate them even more now. They walk slow, stand on the left side of the escalator, ask me for directions to the Washington Monument despite the fact it is visible from where they are standing, and generally piss me off.
There is only one thing I like about tourists and that is their willingness to buy me a ton of drinks. I found out very quickly in college that I can get a group of three men in town for a business conference to buy my entire sorority drinks all night if I just flirt a little.
Stupid men always try to tag a local on their business trips. Haven't they figured out that we're on to them? I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have gotten tanked on top-shelf alcohol on some out-of-towner's tab, only to sneak out of the bar while he was in the bathroom.
It's a game (and a fun one at that). But, one thing that really pisses me off is when married men think that a business trip is their time to go cheat on their wives. In my last entry, I bitched about Beefcake's infidelity, but at least Beefcake wasn't married and pulling crap like this.
Last week I was at a bar with my sister and we had multiple married tourists hit on us. A few of them at least had the foresight to take off their wedding bands before coming to the bar (although when they kept touching their ring fingers, and had a tan line from where their rings were, it was kind of a giveaway), but one didn't even bother to do that.
With his damn wedding band on, he had the audacity to ask me "where are we going after this?" Of course, I told him "seeing as you're married, we're not going anywhere together." To which he responded something crass about a two-state rule. I looked him dead in the eye and told him he disgusted me.
I hope these wives wise-up to their husbands and divorce their asses and take all their money.
This is why I plan to have a fidelity clause in my pre-nup.
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2 comments:
You stole my post. But those guys were awful! Mike and I were talking and decided we should have sent them to Sine.
You forgot to mention how the whole conversation started:
Them: "So, what do you do?"
Me: "I'm the political director for a trade association."
Them: "Wow. We're teachers. We're here on a field trip."
Me: [Looks around] "Um, where are your students?"
Them: "Oh, we left them at the hotel. We do every night--they're okay."
Me: "I see."
My favorite part of their story was the fact that they never bothered to take the kids out to dinner while they were in town; they told them to order pizza every night.
Except for one night when they let them get hotdogs from the gas station across the street.
But, seriously, how pissed would you be if you were on a field trip and had to eat pizza the whole time because your teachers were out at a bar trying to cheat on their wives?
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