The hardest part of breaking-up is getting back your stuff.

Ok, here are some new ones.

Boris- Used to get really pissed off when my best friend and I played the Penis Game (which is that game people play when they're 14 which consists of taking turns yelling the word "penis" progressively louder). One time, he yelled at us, and told us that it was obnoxious. So I apologized for my rude behavior. Then, I told him that we would play a less-offensive game called "The Scrotum Game," which he agreed to let us play. Needless to say, this was the same game with a different word. I don't know how anyone could have not caught onto this. I guess the game grew on him, because a few days later, he wanted to play it. It ended when he rolled down his car window at a red light, looked at the woman in the car next to us, and yelled the worst possible word to yell at her. She followed us for twenty minutes. I was shocked that the cops never came after us that day. Dumbass, the penis game is one thing, but sexual harassment is another.

Fruit Fly- Here is the very first conversation we ever had. Really, I had just met him 30 seconds prior to this discussion.

Him- Ok, so I have this problem, and I need some advice on it.

Me- Um...

Him- Ok, so I got really drunk last weekend, and passed out, and when I woke up, I was naked and all of my pubes were shaven off. Now, they're starting to grow back, and they're little red, ictchy bumps. It really itches, I don't know what to do about it. Do you know what I should do?

Me- Um....exfoliate?

Him- Ex-fo-li-huh?

The rest of the conversation was me explaning what exfoliating is. Hey buddy, teling people about whats going-on down there is not a good way to meet women.

Shrek- I really hate this guy. I don't know If I've made that clear in past entries, so I want to say it now. I have nothing against the other guys, other than they were lousy boyfriends. But, I really hate this one. He is the only person I have ever dated whom I do not wish to ever talk to again. Boris and Fruit Fly are nice guys, and I still talk to both regularly. Shrek is the only person I have dated that I would consider a mistake. With that being said, here is my complaint for him today:
So, I was moving to my apartment, and I had asked Shrek a few weeks in advance if he could help move my stuff once I boxed it. I asked, because I told him I would just have my mom and step dad come down to help me move if that was a hassle. He said it was no problem, and we even scheduled two days to move my stuff. Well, a few weeks later, day one rolled around, and he told me he was going to help his D&D (yeah, I know) buddies move their stuff instead. They had asked him 5 minutes prior. Also, they are big guys, and there are two of them, there is no reason why they could not move their own belongings. But, being the way-too-much-of-a-pushover that I am, I allowed this. Day two, he told me that he was tired, and he wasn't going to move my stuff. Now, I was left with a few hours to move before I was fined. I called a sister, and she helped me. The only things left were my TV, computer, and fridge, which Shrek had moved into his room. He refused to take these to my apartment for weeks, even after we had broken up. To this day, he still has my microwave. I'm not sure if I am going to try to get it back. It was only $30, and that almost makes it seem a reasonable price to never have to deal with him again. He likes to hold on to my stff, because he thinks it will bring me back to get it. I don't want to play this game. I am done with him, there is (almost) nothing he could have of mine that has enough value that would make me come back to get it. $30 seems to be a fair price to be able to move on with my life.