You don't sweep me off my feet.

Okay, my turn.
I'm still pretty good friends with many of my exes so I am rather limited in the people I can say things about but let's talk about MB for a second.
MB is short for "man boobs". My friend Dave gave him this name when he was looking through vacation pictures and found one of MB and I. "Wow, this guy has man boobs!"
A lot of men have man boobs. But there is only one MB.
But that's not the story.
When I dated MB, I had really severe rheumatoid arthritis. Oftentimes the RA made walking and moving extremely painful (actually, sitting was also extremely painful--RA is the most painful thing I have ever experienced). There were times when we were dating, that the pain was so bad I couldn't walk and MB (who is significantly larger than I am) would carry me around (NB, it wasn't like we were going to the bars and stuff. Most of our "dating" involved sitting in my living room, watching movies because I could not go out. At the end of the night, he would help me get upstairs so that I could go to bed because I physically could not do stairs--stuff like that--if we were in public, like at dinner or something, I would hobble around on my own).
MB and I subsequently broke up. To this day, he still gets drunk and blows up my cell phone with text messages about how "he carried me around when I was sick and I never loved him back," as if that's going to make me come crying back to him.
Just remember this ladies, if I guy ever causes your feet to leave the ground, you have to marry him.