Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Adventures in Etiquette

So, last October I went to visit Ex No. oh-I-don't-even-know-anymore who lived halfway across the country. I was really excited because it was my birthday and I hadn't seen him in about a month. So, obviously I was expecting something BIG--a grand gesture, if you will. Well, my birthday night started out really well. He had made reservations at a very nice restaurant on the beach. He had even called ahead to make sure that the restaurant served crème brulee--my favorite dessert. He was dressed nicely (I told him what to wear and he actually listened to me). Things were going great for a change.

Not for long. Well, we get to the restaurant (a little late, but that can't be blamed on him. Anyone who knows me knows that I am five minutes late for everything). We sit down--so far, so good. I had not been humiliated. Yet. We decide to order wine and that’s where things go wrong. The waiter brings out the wine and holds it out so the ex can see it. Well, the ex grabs the wine out of the waiter's hands, nods at him, and sets the wine down on the table. This is immediately followed by me saying "Oh my God *name withheld to protect me from lawsuits*" louder than I had intended and dropping my head into my hand. The waiter stared at us with absolute contempt. You have never experienced true humiliation until a waiter has looked at you as if you are PWT straight from the trailer park. Well, the waiter picks up the wine from the table and apparently decides to dispense with the whole ceremony. He just pours the wine and, I swear to God, he rolled his eyes as he walked away.

Maybe I could forgive the ex for this if he had a legitimate reason for not knowing the appropriate way to handle ordering wine at a nice restaurant--maybe if his family wasn't very affluent or he was from the middle of nowhere where Applebees is considered the height of class. But he's not. He's from a big city and his father is an absurdly successful doctor. I know that he has been to nice restaurants before. There is simply no excuse.

3 comments:

RGB said...

A waiter looking at you with contempt...now that's damning!

Unknown said...

wow...just...wow...Gentlemen, please learn the proper way to order wine. It's not hard. And for that matter, learn your way around a frickin' wine list.

RGB said...

yeah, and while you're at it, buy me more Daivd Yurman.