There are some things that even alcohol can't fix

So, during my first half of my freshman year of college, I dated this guy, lets call him Drunk Ex. (Interesting side note: I met him the same day that I first met RGB.) It was one of the weirdest relationships that I've ever been in. We never really defined what we were and so we were never official. This fact made the relationship a little odd. Basically, he cheated on me and I cheated on him. It was a big mess and we both resented the hell out of each other by the end of it.

Anyway, Drunk Ex is a raging alcoholic. No doubt in my mind. RGB will probably say something about how I am hardly the one to accuse someone else of being an alcoholic, but whatever, I am totally not as bad as he is. He once spent an entire week drunk. I don't know how he did it without dying, but he did. And its not like it was something that he didn't mean to do and just kinda happened. No, he set out on a mission to stay drunk for a week. How that boy has not died yet, I don't know. Another time he called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that he was drunk and lost in the ghetto and was sitting in a Laundromat/bar. Yes, you read correctly. He was in a Laundromat that doubled as a bar (because apparently laundry is too strenuous a task to be accomplished with a little liquid assistance).

However, his alcoholism is not the point of this post. I'm going to try to get to it.

Drunk Ex and I broke up, not surprisingly and I was perfectly willing to write it off as a bad relationship and leave it at that. I mean, I've had worse relationships and I honestly felt that I had been a very bad girlfriend and therefore did not have much of a right to complain about how he was a very bad boyfriend. But then about three weeks ago, I get a phone call from a friend of mine to tell me that Drunk Ex was in town and was looking for me. So, he calls me later on and says that he wants to talk to me. I meet him outside and he presents me with this stuffed frog (because he remembered that he had really never bought me anything the whole time we were dating) and says that he wants to apologize for everything that happened between us. Now, I would have been fine with this and even thought that it was sweet had Drunk Ex not been shitfaced at the time of the apology. He kept trying to launch into an obviously rehearsed speech, but he would get a few sentences in and then forget where he was and start over again. I think I heard the sentence "I know I was a bad boyfriend" about fifteen times. And he kept apologizing for being drunk. Anyway, the whole ordeal was awkward and embarrassing.

And then he tried to kiss me. Um, no. Been there, done that.