Monday, April 10, 2006

The Laws of Dating (Part I)

A little while back, CCG mentioned a guy who google-searched her. From his google-search, he found her blog, and more specifically, an entry explaining her desire to two-week him. We agreed that this was an illegal search in the laws of relationships, and therefore he could not use the evidence found in this search against CCG.

I am not saying I have never google-searched someone before (I always want to make sure a guy I am about to go on a date with is not on the registered sex offender list for raping goats, or a member of a cult), but the point is, I know this is an illegal search. Therefore, any information I find, I cannot admit to knowing to the other party. This is just one of the laws of dating, if you break it, you are punished by not getting another date.

Today, I’ve been thinking about another issue in the realm of relationship legality. What is the legal way to acquire a phone number, and is it only appropriate to call someone whose number was obtained legally? The answer to this is very simple. The acceptable way to get my number is by me giving it to you personally.

Of course, I will accept a broad definition of what it means for me to give you my number personally. For example, if I call you first (minus call ID block), then I am letting my number show-up on your call log, therefore, this would be considered me giving you my number (don’t hold your breath for this to happen though because, I never call a guy first). If a friend of mine gives you my number after asking me for permission, this counts as getting it from me as well. It is only appropriate to call me (or any other woman) if you obtained her number in one of these ways (i.e. if she gave you her number).

With that said, let me tell you about a stalker I once had. I met a terrible sketchy old man in a bar a very long time ago (long enough ago that I should not have been in the bar…and of course, I was not consuming alcoholic beverages, because Loser-Ex does not condone underage drinking).

Ok, perhaps what I said about him being old was a bit of an exaggeration. He wasn’t old, but he in his mid to late 40’s, which makes him old by my standards of datable men. Anyway, he obtained my number in the most blatantly illegal way possible. Had he asked for my number, I would have, without hesitation, given him the rejection hotline.

But did he ask? Oh, hell no!! He grabbed my phone out of my hand (I was checking a text message at the time, and also not talking to him), and used it to take a picture (wtf?) and send it to himself! So, not only did I have to pay for a damn picture to be sent, he also got my phone number from sending it to himself.

I made it abundantly clear that I was pissed about him taking my phone from me, then using it to take a picture. However, this did not deter him from calling me a few days later.

At around midnight on a Wednesday, I got a phone call from a local number. Not recognizing the number, I answered, and it was him. He informed me that he had gone to 10 different bars the night before (6 of which are college bars a few blocks away from my school) and had not seen me. He asked where I go out. I told him I never go out.

He then said he had been to campus too. I told him I live off campus, in the suburbs. Then, I told him I had to go, and not to leave a message if he calls back because my voicemail is broken. He called regularly for 6 weeks, and I never answered the phone again. I hope he found a new person to annoy, because I sure as hell never want to hear from him again.

The point of all this is: If a girl does not give you her number, you can safely assume she does not want you to have it. Ergo, it is not a good idea to call her everyday. If you do, she will write about how creepy you are on a blog, and possibly get a restraining order against you.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Once I was in the elevator and this sketchy guy from the 12th floor introduced himself and so I smiled and said "nice to meet you" and then he called the building to see which offices were on the 9th floor and then called our main line and described me to the receptionist, who like a retard gave him my name so he started calling and sending e-mail and he became my building stalker.

RGB said...

I think guys have the misconception that finding you despite not being given your number is romantic (because, surely you're destined to be together...and like finding you via stalking shows persistence or something, and that's apparently admirable).