Caress me down...

So, Shrek and I somehow got to talking about massages one day, when he revealed a shocking confession. Apparently over the summer, he had gone to get massages once or twice a week!

Not the shocking secret you expected? Yeah, me neither. He went on explain that he hadn't told me because he knew I would be jealous that some other woman was touching his pimpley back. To this day, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why he was so convinced of this. I told him that didn't bother me at all, and I didn't know why he had been so afraid to tell me. He claimed it was because he would not tolerate me ever getting a professional massage from a man. This seems really weird to me. I mean, what exactly does a massage entail for him? As I write this, I am still confused about his mind-set. To make this easier on me, I am just going to assume they were relief massages, and that's why he went to such great lengths to keep them a secret. Man, do I feel bad for that masseuse. She had to touch his backne, his other parts, and (knowing him) probably got no tip whatsoever.