Too Sexy for Shrek...

I am really pretty. I just want to put that out there. I am not going to beat around the bush and infer that people find me attractive in an attempt to not sound arrogant. After all, I am arrogant. And pretty. Really pretty. I don't mean "pretty" in the way that is exotic or unconventional or subjective. I just am pretty.

With that said, now let me talk about Shrek. The truth is, he wasn't unattractive. CMS will probably comment on how fugly he was, but I think he was slightly above average on the attractiveness scale, but nothing extraordinary. The truth is, I don't even like guys who are amazingly gorgeous. I am not really someone who goes for looks. Anyway, Shrek was not bad-looking, but he was in no way as attractive as I am. His coworkers jokingly discussed how I am too cute for him one night and he found out about it. Then, the sh*t hit the fan.

I thought it was kind of funny, but he was absolutely livid that people would say I was too attractive for him. From that day forward, I never heard the end of stories about how every single time when he goes to the mall back home, at least 6 girls come up to him and give out their numbers without having even spoken with him. I nod, smile and go "is that so? Wow!" Not enough. Next, he comes over and tells me that every sorority on campus invited him to their crush parties (my own excluded) and when invited said that they "want really hot guys to come." Again, nod, smile "how about that." Then, he tells me that a girl in his class asked him out. "How nice. Was she cute?" Next, it's that he believes that he should get a job at the gay club as a shot boy, and he would make a ton of money, because he is so hot. Ok, I nodded and smiled at the time, but I've got to say here that he was very out of shape, and no one would pay to see him without a shirt. Unless they liked fat porn or something. This went on for months when finally, he dropped the bomb. He informed me that he could very easily date someone more attractive than me. Wrong. He went on later to say that he couldn't really.

The point is, I never cared about how attractive he was. If he hadn't wasted so much time with his head up his ass, being jealous of something so superficial, he would seen that. Everyone else could see that. I was willing to let him believe that he was better-looking, smarter and whatever else. Rather than see this, he was so concerned with trying to win a competition against me that I was never participating in.

I have since dated people who are more attractive, smarter, more well-mannered, more cultured and overall better people. He will never date anyone who can even hold a light to me in any way.